How to Successfully Mediate your Divorce
Most of the time someone going through a divorce will not benefit from having a long drawn out case which ends in a trial. Fortunately, mediation offers a way for even the most contentious couple to resolve their differences. Here are some steps you can take to help make your divorce mediation successful:
Gather Information and Have it Organized Beforehand
Mediation involves a neutral third-party, usually an attorney, working with both sides to reach an agreement on their divorce terms. The mediator will do this by first meeting with each party and learning their positions and then they will go back and forth in an effort to help resolve their issues. You can assist in facilitating your mediation by gathering pertinent financial records, paycheck information, and any other documentation which is related to your claims. You should have these documents organized and ready for the mediator should he or she need it in order to negotiate.
Go with an Open Mind
By the time you go to mediation, you and your former partner will have probably had some heated or at least upsetting exchanges. It may be difficult to go into this process without getting caught up in your emotions about the other person as well as the issues in your case. While it can be challenging to set aside these feelings and be open to reaching an agreement it will be to your benefit to do so.
Be Realistic and Reasonable
Mediation is about negotiation and compromise. It is not realistic to expect to get everything you want from the other party. Instead, you should focus on seeking a reasonable and equitable result. Therefore, holding out for something you could not get from a court, such sole custody when the other parent is safe and has a good relationship with your child, will not help during mediation. Instead, talk to your attorney before and during the process about what to rationally anticipate under the facts in your case.
Be Patient with the Process
While you may start out feeling cautiously optimistic, the process can be frustrating as the parties go back and forth over issues. After several rounds, you may be tempted to throw your hands up and walk away. Remember, this is a lengthy negotiation session, and each phase is designed to get you closer to a resolution. While it may be difficult, be patient with the process.
Mediation can be an effective means to reach agreements in divorce and, when approached the right way, can help you complete your case. However, for your mediation to be an successful you will need the advice of an experienced attorney. At the Draper firm, we have experienced divorce attorneys who can help you prepare for and benefit from your divorce mediation. Please contact us to schedule a free consultation. We invite you to learn more about our firm here.